Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in steveguy's LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 4th, 2009
2:31 pm	The one's that suffer the most are the ones that don't know what they want the dream is this, that we will finally be happy when we reach our goals...that's the dream. then we get there. and if we're human, we immedietly begin dreaming again. B/c if this is the dream, that we'd like to wake up. Now please. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Sealion-Feist (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
1:43 am	Mother, tell your children not to walk my way. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. What the fuck was I thinking when I signed up for this tour. I mean, i'm not a quitter. But talk about reality check I just don't know. I spent all night trying to get drunk. and right now, those are the successes. and i'm able to make coherent senetences, spelling set aside, so you can tell how successful i was. and I'm trying to get with this girl and it's not happening. I dunno. I just figured we'd have more time to talk tonight. I mean we fucking talk during all the bull shit we have to go through....I just figured today she'd give me the time of day. Guess i should have known my luck. which, if you don't know, is to utterly fail at following true love...and to end up sucessful with random hookups that don't mean anything in the long run..... I'm just fucking grouchy. You would be too if you spent an hour looking at dead ppl today after spening a ridiculous amount of time in the lab and STILL failed your test today. I need something to change because i'm hitting the wall here. and if I don't get a break soon i'm heading back to Athens with my tail between my legs. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Mother-Danzing and So Fine- Sean Paul (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
10:45 pm	Workin at the car wash...... perhaps i got a little bit ahead of myself. it wouldnt be the first time. and i think ive over extended myself a bit. it wouldnt be the first time for that, either. and for the record i really hate pompous ppl who r too cool for school. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: list of demands-saul williams (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
11:51 pm	I think its the first time i've ever used this emoticon on this website...... haha paradise does come from the dashboard light. Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 13th, 2009
11:44 pm	Remember When.... I should be studying but im exhausted....i'm really falling behind on this study thing....and for some reason, this song is just stuck in my head. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: MSTRKRFT ft. John Legend-Heartbreaker (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
3:45 pm	FML I always seem to forget that when you're talking to drunk ppl, they are always telling you the truth. No matter how outlandish or "there's no way that's true" it sounds. So when somebody tells you "Doctor Steve, i heard some interesting things about you from ppl who don't know Kelly" and "you're a nice guy....you just don't need to be a playa" you should probably think that Yes, as improbable as it seems, the girl you're talking to does now about crazy red dress who took you home, and thus you should just keep your mouth shut. I mean seriously I was sober last night and I just had to open my damn mouth. hahahahaha...............ugh. what a joke Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: Peace-Weezer (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 5th, 2009
10:26 pm	Thinking about all these things that i've done so crappy wknd rundown..... -Friday 3am: dropped my drunk friends off. sadly i couldnt drink bc i had a 10am the next (same?) day -Friday 4am-bed -Friday930am to 10:10 am: Wake up, drive to class, run like a maniac to get there only to find that at.... -1030 am: my professor decides to let us all go to enjoy the day....meaning i could have just stayed in bed. Son of a bitch. -11am to 2pm: Pay the bills, shower, and, because of Realay that night, tried to get my hw out of the way without reading the chapter due to lack of time. Result? a 70 and an 80 on my assignments. awesome. 2-3pm: Try to set up for Relay....key word, try. Too windy so we gave up. 3:01pm: Make an ass out of myself by having a conversation with a girl while i was driving past her on the sidewalk. The problem? I thought my windows were down. They werent. LOSER. 5-7pm: Set up our campsite at relay. It looks great. Then, I notice whose who luminary is right in front of our campsite. A certain "Michael Hobbs." Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I must have pissed somebody off real bad in a past life or up THERE for stuff like this to happen to me. 7-10: spend the rest of the night trying to avoid seeing my ex and her short ass boyfriend as they pass by our campsite to look at her dad's luminary. Caught her eye once. dont know what THAT was about. Oh, yeah, just more fucked up emotions. Plus, i made the mistake of telling my future roomate about the situation, who decided to bring it up in front of the cute girl going to med school with me. Which at first didn't bother me bc i thought she was in a relationship. No...she's single. fuck my life. 11-2: Go dt and to Simpson's place to drink. B/c drinking is my escape valve. 2-330am: go back to relay to dress up in drag for this contest. Only to have said contest canceled. so i get to walk back to my car looking like a cheap prostitute. fun times. to sum the rest up....got 2 hours of sleep before going back to relay to help clean up. only when i got there, everything was cleaned up. went back home where i tried to sleep. sat around all day instead of doing my hw. got an invite to go out. Decided (so intelligently) to drink my brains out that night. Been nursing a hangover and an upset stomach all day. and im starting to realize i am really fucked in the homework department. And now i can't stop thinking about my ex. and how i'm about to graduate. and leave town. and how everything in my life is spinning out of my control. This is not where I thought I would be. I've made a desert of my life, and I call it peaceful. Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: Over my head- The Fray. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 9th, 2009
10:10 pm	A cynical cycle of circular context "I could lie there as long as I wanted, and let all the pictures of things a man might want run through my head, coffee, a girl, money, a drink, white sand and blue water, and let them all slide off, one after another, like a deck of cards slewing slowly off your hand. Maybe the things you want are like cards. You don't want them for themselves, really, though you think you do. You don't want a card because you want the card, but because in a perfectly arbitrary system of rules and values and in a special combination of which you already hold a part the card has meaning. But suppose you aren't sitting in a game. Then, even if you do know the rules, a card doesn't mean a thing. They all look alike." Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Kiss Kiss -Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
11:28 pm	bombardment after a day that got pretty rough as it went on....i'm taking solace in two extra strength tylenol's and my pirate coffee mug. Because that's how i roll. at least i've got watchmen tomorrow Current Mood: Headache Current Music: pressure-the zutons (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 12th, 2009
10:33 pm	Que Sera, Sera Sometimes I just can't take it all....and sometimes I wish I had never gotten on this carousel in the first place (Comment on this)
Monday, December 15th, 2008
2:54 pm	No freakin way So....not gonna lie, I just jumped around my apartment for a full minute when I learned, thanks to my handy dandy new notebook, courtesy of MCG, that amongst other things....I get to go to a doctor's prom all 4 years of school! man, i'm a loser....a loser, but one happy loser! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Around the bend-Asteroid Galaxy Tour (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 8th, 2008
6:41 pm	It's official! 2008 BLOWS So....I'm not forgetting the lessons learned from Sat. night's entry....but lets look at my day so far today. -wake up in excruciating pain. Pain subsides enough for me to go to class. Where pain returns. -At the doctor, I find out I've been bleeding out of my kidney for at least a week and a half now. -Instead of studying for my two exams tomorrow, I get to go get 2 x-rays to see if I've got kidney stones -x-rays inconclusive, so they don't know what the fuck is wrong with me (though i'm pretty sure from the pain i feel, i've got one) -Oh, and i got a fucking b- on my paper. wtf. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to jan. without something else happening. Thank goodness newyears is in sight Current Mood: sick Current Music: Teen Angst-Cracker (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 7th, 2008
1:44 am	Fair Tales DO happen Stephen was a bad boy tonight :) really bad. Stephen went to a party and got his hopes up about running into "special girl" even though he knows "special girl" never shows up to party's she says she's going to. so stephen stood around the keg drinking and just enjoying life when "special girl" walks in, the first time he's seen her since that wonderful and beautiful yet ill fated evening/early morning escapade in September. And it was awkward, and they barely made eye contact, and just said hello before she ran off to hide in some room on the other side of the "magic Castle" And so Stephen avoided that side of the magic castle for most of the night, though he secretly wanted to part the crowd and whisk "special girl" right off of her feet. He thought all was lost, that he would never get to see "special girl" again and talk to her, or stare into her pretty eyes behind her ridiculously strong glasses (lets face it, "special girl" is as blind as a bat without them on) or hear the ridiculous way she stammers and which he stupidly pointed out to her. But then something wonderful happened. Stephen was asked to play flip cup (which he ultimately sucks at....Stephen is a jew, and thus awesome at beer pong and ultimate frisbee and sucks at every other sport). but while he was playing "special girl" came out and was talking near Stephen, to the point he could not ignore her without being a jackass. and because he wanted to talk to her (and was dared to by eveyrone who knows both him and "special girl" and how they need to end up together) he finally approached her. AND THEY HIT IT OFF LIKE NOTHING HAD CHANGED!! And Stephen rejoiced, remembering what its like to feel like THAT towards someone. And he flirted with her, even though he knows how out of his league she is. And then "special girl" left to go get more alcohol. And Stephen waited. and waited. and waited. He feared that the girl would never return to the Magic Castle, that she didn't want to see him. And he grew sad..... BUT THEN LO AND BEHOLD SHE RETURNED!!! and she talked more with him. and everyone stopped and stared, and remarked to themselves how Stephen and "special girl" were perfect for one another. And while Stephen found out that "Special Girl" apparently has to go back to the wicked kingdom of MACON for break, he was ok, because she was hear now. And then he caught another break. The magic, benevolent owner of the castle, the all powerful KELERIN THE WIZARD, told an amusing yarn about how she and Stephen had dated in 7th grade and he was the best boyfriend she had ever had. And "special girl" was impressed. Soon, "Special Girl" had to leave, with her "step-roomates" (who isn't wicked...but was drunk, and not helping Stephen's cause like the other step-roomate was....)and Stephen grew sad, mainly b/c he didn't get to even hug her goodbye. But then, as "special girl" left, Kelerin the Wizard and everyone else went "oooooooh, Stephen likes Sara oooooooo" and Stephen realized how much charm he had been putting on tonight. And while he knew his friends were saying "dude, she's totally into you" because they were his friends...well, he still enjoyed it. And then he said thanks and goodbye to Kelerin the Wizard, and, because the alcohol had turned him into a pumpkin unable to drive, Kelerin's brother dropped stephen off (and then Stephen went and pissed off his sister, by telling her he needs to go pick up his pumkin carriage tomorrow morning) and he called his buddy...and agreed to help his buddy out in an amazing, yet scary way. and then Stephen wrote this. and now, he's going to go to sleep and dream of warm, happy dreams about "special girl" and the "magic castle" and how, he prays every night, that one day....one day, she'll keep him warm. but in the meantime....he's thankful, for small miracles, that make him believe that if we're lucky, and we look long and hard for them....FAIRY TALES DO COME TRUE! Current Mood: giddy Current Music: Whats so funny bout (peace love and understanding)-A Colbert Christmas (Comment on this)
Friday, November 21st, 2008
10:11 pm	I've been thinking I'm drinking too many drinks all by myself.... Well..... I did it. It took me three and half years. LITERALLY. but i finally finished reading the Brother's Karamazov. ok. everyone can save the comments about "how the HELL did it take you three years plus to read a book?" For me.......for me this is a big accomplishment. seriously. a huge event. No, i'm not trying to be pretentious. It's just. It's the end (finally) of a chapter in my life. no pun intended. And i seriously DO hope its the end of a chapter in my life....or the begining of the end. Here's what I mean. I started Karamazov right after I graduated high school in 05. I was a very different person back then. I was younger, more naieve, eager to finally be out on my own. Unexperienced with a lot of life. I was single. Just check out all the old entries in this journal. And then I met Abby. And the book got put on hold. I used to joke to myself that it was ridiculous that I, a soon to be English major, would let a girl get between me and a book. Maybe I should have taken the hint..... It's unfair to say that Abby kept me from reading the book. It was a joke. But the fact that I could never find time to read that book just kind've encomposed this whole time in my life when I suddenly found myself busy out living life for the first time (ok....by 'living life' I mean living this mature fantasy of the life I hoped to be leading one day and had suddenly lucked myself into) and I had to put my personal, individual needs on hold. Cuz thats what you do in a relationship. You make SACRIFICES. So if that means I don't have time to read, or write, or just veg as much as I'm used to, then fine, if it's for someone I really care about. You can disagree..... but anyways... Fast forward through three years of fun times and sad times, of love making and fighting, of sweet words and pure bull shit. Throughout this time, I kept trying to finish the book. And I got a bit farther. line by line. closer to the end. It became this book that followed me all over G-d's creation. Through everything. All the drama and cool happenings and pure bliss, it was there. It witnessed almost everything that I myself saw. Including the bad stuff.... Now that I'm single...I've felt this weight hanging over me. Like if i can just finish this book, this book that completly encompasses my time with Abby, maybe I can get back on track. Ha, it got even more of an emphasis today when, as I set out to finish reading it, I ended up running into her twice. Like a sign. Now that its over with....I mean I am relieved. I DO feel that I have closed some sort of chapter. Like i can move away from the past, from the pain, and get to someplace new. It's not like I'm expecting some miraculous event to happen now that I'm done. Like a certain someone is going to call me up now for a get together over break. though that would be freakin sweet. I'm just ready to move on. and everyday is a bit closer to that move. which scares me and thrills me and scares me some more and overwhelms me all at the same time. but it's not here now. And I'm still feeling stuck in perguatory. so now...now maybe something will happen. Current Mood: unsure Current Music: Bandages-Hot Hot Heat (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 16th, 2008
12:31 am	all around the mulberry bush HAHAHAH IM CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7A2XtRaKUU hahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: crazy (Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2008
8:49 pm	Useless I think I've gotten about 10 hours of sleep in the psat 3 days.....mostly on naps. I'm climbing the walls here. Genetics is just kicking my ass daily, and considering i haven't even started studying for tom. test in there, it's prob. going to do it again. Gag me with a rusted spoon. Which begs the question, "why am I sitting here writing on livejournal?" Current Mood: exanimate Current Music: Stella was a Diver and She's always Down-Interpol (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 9th, 2008
12:14 am	Disgusted ugh. Ifeel dirty. I feel grungy. i feel lazy. I am lazy. I don't do anything anymore. Except drink, cause problems and make bad decisions. i just missed throwing a crumpled up piece of tissue into the trash can literally two feet from me. I was supposed to be studying today, or at the very least highlight my textbook....and i've done nothing today. ugh. I don't know what i've become or how I got here. I don't like it. I have so much to do and I just haven't done any of it. mainly because i can't motivate myself to do so. Ugh. Ugh. I just...feel blah, and like I'm out of sync with the world. I AM out of sync with the world. It's weird. I was going fine...and that I got off track. and ended up in some strange land. I need a fresh start. where nobody has any present notions about who I am. Or I about them. and I can have some time to figure out who the hell I am now. What I am. What a head trip. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Good Life-Weezer (Comment on this)
Friday, November 7th, 2008
12:10 am	oh snap 2 quotes that just came out of mouth: "Dude, I can't believe I didn't get kicked out of All Good that night for smashing bottles" and "I got out of there as fast as I could, because him smashing a bottle over my head would really fuck up my night" I've been back from my vacation for a week and i've come to the conclusion i need vacation to recover from my vacation. Tomorrow night best be fun!!! Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Blue Monday-Orgy (Comment on this)
Monday, October 20th, 2008
3:44 pm	"See, I wanna move..." "She opened her wool coat and wrapped him up. She kissed his head. His rosy face just now untucked itself, the whole moment marsupial, strangely wondrous that way, and I thought if I had tasted a family hunger all my life that this should be my daily bread. What else is there to behold?" The dreams returned. I feel like I'm the one suffering from these hauntings. Maybe not. But I'll never know. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 19th, 2008
10:42 pm	Apparently, Lame is your middle name..... I think its so immature that people have to lie to and cant even come out and tell you the truth. I mean seriously, don't make up some stupid excuse and then just go behind my back and do something and then openly flaunt it. That's just bull shit. Seriously, sometimes it's a wonder I can still trust ppl. I mean, ok....i guess im a better person then they are. but seriously, why the hell would you tell me a lie that YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL ME and then go and put up shit contradicting what you said. I'm so sick of this bullshit. Did i not have to deal with enough of this shit back in.....THE ENTIRITY OF THIS YEAR?!?! I'm done. just like i said. I. AM. DONE. And another thing.....DO NOT try and make out with me when you aren't single!!! I mean its totally not cool and puts me in an awkward place when you have a boyfriend and you get all over me and the guy you came with (i'm guessing its said boyfriend) is STARING AT ME. SERIOUSLY. NOT COOL. I don't need some guy breaking a bottle over my face just because you're too toasted to let go of me as I try and remove your lips from neck. and beard. and face. I'm so sick of this bullshit. I just need to leave this town of drama. Other than that....this weekend was pretty damn fun. yesterday was sheer bachanillian mayhem. too much alcohol. yes....there is such a thing as too much alchol. I've seen it. Man, i'm still pissed off. fuck an a. i've had it being mr. nice guy. I'm just going to be a jackass from now on and do whatever the hell i want to do because apparently those are the only ppl who get anything in life they want. and being nice just gets you stepped on all the damn time. so yeah. Fuck. Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Love Lockdown-Kanye West (Comment on this)